Day 6 & 7 - I Come From Flora-Bama With a Shot Glass on My Knee!?

Ever since we hit Orange Beach Cherri has been trying to get us to go to the "Flora-Bama". I thought it was the condo building on the border between Florida and Alabama. We managed to put it off for days, but on the last day she insisted. All week as she talked to the other Golden Girls they kept asking if she had taken us to the Flora-Bama. The kids and I were shocked to walk into a place that soooo did not look like someplace Cherri, Tammi, Kandi, and GG would go, much less have fond memories of. I am begining to wonder if there are not some untold stories from their trip!

As a final update on Onan, he would not turn over on the last two cold mornings. Wade will not be happy, but, the booster switch worked and it turned over right away. Long ride home but we made it back in time to clean the RV, refuel, fill the propane and empty the tanks.

Brian's Blog:

My favorite part of today was when we went to Flora-Bama. Mom kept insisting we see this place, so we drove there and pulled up. Now I'm lookin' at the wooden exterior and rather rustic looking entrance; and I'm thinkin' "Wow! Seriously?! What's so great about this place anyway?" We walk in; and the moment I'm in the entrance, I'm looking around at the different walls that make the outdoor part of this palce and notice every one is covered with a beer company logo or sign. EVERY single piece of wood in the joint is COVERED in some form of writting or another such as "Kimmie Loves Karl 4eva!" and just to remind you that you are in Alabama "The South Will Rise Again", that sort of thing. I walk in past the outer bar-like place and into an indoor room full of tables and benches. As I look up, I can't help but say to myself, "MY GOD this has to be the LARGEST number of BRA'S I have ever seen in my life hanging from the ceiling". NOT, of course, that I would have anything to compare it to! But um... *Cough*... anyway, I walk out and inform my posse of one of the GREATEST finds a 20-something male could EVER make! WAY better than a gold mine or an oilfield! The others did not seem to share my enthusiasm for the find; and said, "eh, it was probably just the wet T-shirt contest". Well that's just peachy! All the 20-something males in the world and I have to come to Flora-Bama with the

Cherri's Blog:

Well, here we are on our way home, not wanting to go!!! :( We met my cousin, GG, and her family at the McDonald's in Loxley, Alabama (they were on the way to Disneyworld for their Spring Break). What a coincidence to be at about the same place at about the same time on the road three states over from Texas! The last two days have been a blur! Holli and I have spent a lot of time on the beach "sea shelling" - Holli has caught the bug! We're already trying to figure out when we can come back! Holli understands, now, my "addiction"! Once you find that perfect sand dollar or "olive", you want to find more, and more, and more! It's VERY addictive!!! While we were in Alabama, we went back and forth from Gulf Shores to Orange Beach (they were right next to each other).

*Sorry, but I had to take a break last night from blogging - kept falling asleep with the laptop in my lap!). I tried to go to the back bedroom to lay down for a little while, but have you ever tried to sleep going 65 mph down a bumpy freeway in a 31' RV? It's a lot like trying to sleep on a trampoline with someone bouncing on it! And it's really not pleasant when you have to go to the bathroom, but you're just too tired to get up! Well, Brad finally pulled over into our "familiar" Wal-Mart parking lot in Lafayette to try to get a couple of hours of sleep before going on; so he set the alarm for 5:00am and snoozed away peacefully and calmly. We made it home after an EXTREMELY bumpy ride down I-10 to Houston! It was nice to finally NOT hear Holli singing Mariah Carey's Christmas song, "All I Want for Christmas...is You!" or Holli saying, "Is that YOU making ME a sandwich, Mommy?"; or Brian saying, "Just a minute, Mom" and then, an hour later, me reminding him again what he was supposed to do; or BOTH of them rapping in unison "Big Rob's" part in the Jonas Brother's song, "Burnin' Up"!

We clearly had a wonderful Spring Break, as you've been able to read! We're ready to rent, again, and go on another exciting "Hollingsworth Adventure"!!! :)

Holli's Blog:

After going to see Flora-Bama that my Mom went on and on about we went back to the beach to the same spot we went the day before. There Mom and I were looking for seashells like we always did (Of course I was way ahead of her becasue I got tired of waiting) and then there, off in the distance, I see Mom talking to some lady I have never seen before. So after I watched Mom bring the lady over to meet Dad and Brian. I decided I was going to have to go over there sooner or later and walked over. When I got there Mom introduced me to Shirley. She had met Shirley the other day at the beach while looking for seashells. It turns out that Shirley was from Michigan and is also a fellow seasheller. That is when Shirley and Mom chat some more and she invites us to her condo so she can give us some of her seashells that she wasn't going to keep. The three of us then walk and talk all the way down the beach to Shirley's condo, that's when we meet George, her husband. By the time Mom and I left their condo I knew that Shirley and George stay on the beach for 3 months in a row every year and have been doing it for 28 years, George has been to the emergency room within the past month, Shirley is 77 and George is 81, they have twin grandsons and many others, Shirley likes to bake even though she doesn't eat what she makes, she has a friend who is staying on a lower floor that is very creative, she has a friend whose grandson went on a mission trip to Costa Rica last summer and they helped fund his trip, she has only found one sand dollar, one of her son's got married on Fort Lauderale beach to a girl from Mexico, and she also gave me a present! It was then we decided to go and Shirley walked Mom and I back to our spot on the beach. But of course that was not the end of our time with Shirley. Mother and Shirley exchanged addresses and kept talking about who knows what for at least another hour or so! Oh, what a fun filled day it was!

Brad's Blog:

Journeying into the Phoenix X after a frightening trek through Flora-Bama, it was then that I first caught sight of them; a group of "Knitters" in the wild. The gathering appeared to be all female, although I was not initially sure about their leader. Their natural habitat involves air conditioning and comfy chairs. It was easy to spot the Alpha Knitter, Alberta (aka AKA). They gathered in a more or less horseshoe shape with AKA at its head and dominating most of the sound making. At first their sounds just seemed like Charlie Brown's parents only higher pitched; but, after a while I was able to decifer their simple, but beautiful language.

I was not sure whether a group of Homo-Erectus-Oldus-Knitus should be called a flock, a gaggle, a coven, a school, a herd, a den or perhaps they operate at a higher level like an association or a community. Since AKA was not elected, but rather, assumed power through domination and the membership seems to ebb and flow throughout the day and season, I think they could best be called a flock.

The odd thing about this flock was that there were no males present. Once I learned their language, I was able to detect that males existed, or once existed, outside the flock. The males are mostly referred to in the past tense such as "My Jim and I used to go there" or "Bob ordered that one time". Occasionally a male is mentioned in the future tense "George and I are going to go there next Summer". I initially thought all the males could be away participating in some sort of tribal conflict, but, given their advanced age I am going to conclude that the female of this species greatly outlives the male, or, the male has been domisticated to the point that he never leaves the nesting area. More research is required.

Their discussions must have been in a code because, although intelligible, it did not seem to have meaning. "I don't usually go for green, but this was more of a teal" and "It's only five ninety-five before six". I am sure that they were actually discussing world domination, but it will take much more field work to make headway on their code.

As we ended this season of work and prepared to leave, an odd afternoon fog rolled in. I think I will miss them; those Knitters in the mist.

Day 5 - "Thorns and Roses"

What a RIP OFF! After seeing the beautiful white sands of Destin and Ft. Walton Beach, Florida, I was really looking forward to seeing something else new in Orange Beach, Alabama. The beach is NOT ORANGE! It is that same old pure white sugar sand you get in Destin! Now orange sand, that would be something. This town should be called "Same Old White Sand Beaches You Get in Florida", Alabama. "SOWSBYGIF" is more RV friendly than Destin, though. The Walmart just up the road in Gulf Shores welcomes you, and there is a lot more public beach access points with lots of parking.

I have asked each person on this reality expedition to blog their "Thorns and Roses". T&R is a Boy Scout campfire tradition while on backcountry expeditions. Basically, you discuss the best and worst events of your day while on the trail. Since this their first blog entriy it covers eveything from Houston to SOWSBYGIF. Enjoy!

Brian's Blog

My favorite part of the trip so far has been being able to play video games or surf the web going 70 miles an hour down the road. The only problem has been this strange consistant sound that seems to be constantly surrounding my nirvana bubble. I have tried to ignore it, but it just keeps hanging around kind of like that one fly in the room you just can't seem to get rid of. I finally deduced what it was through a Holmes-like thought process. I said, "Aha! Mother!" She apparently does NOT understand the concept that oxygen is a limited substance in the universe. Constantly talking or yelling, "Y'all look out the windows!", "Raise those blinds and look outside!", "Brian get off that videotvtextcomputerthing!", "Holli, wakeup!", "Brian, is Holli awake?!", "Is the carbon monoxide detector working?!" to which Dad replied, "Yes, it is" to which she replied, "Are you sure? I think I can smell it" to which I hung my head.

I finally decided to answer one saying, "Brian can you pour me a Dr. Pepper?". I replied, "Mom, are you aware how hard it is to pour a drink out of a 2 liter while going 65 miles an hour down the road in a vehicle that feels EVERY single bump?". So as I'm trying to pour a drink for my insistant mother, I quickly figured out that the only way to do this is a way OTHER than how I am doing it at this exact moment in time, as I'm wiping the spilled Dr. Pepper off my trousers. As I brace one foot on the fridge and one arm on the bathroom door, I realize that my other foot has slipped in the spilled DP, and I am now wedged in an incredibly uncomfortable position in this RV and wondering to myself, "Why do we pick NOW to go around a corner?!" Now I'm going down the road 65 miles an hour SIDEWAYS with a DP 2 liter in one hand and a half poured DP cup in the other trying desperately not to spill either of them anymore.

It was at this time I decided that RV vacay's with the family were NOT for me. TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER GLORIOUS ADVENTURE IN THE LIFE OF ONE WHO DOES NOT WANT TO BE HERE.

Holli's Blog

My favorite part of the trip so far, has been sleeping whenever I want! I love sleeping! A typical night has been going to bed at 8 and waking up at 8 the next morning, then taking multiple naps whenever the RV is moving or just whenever I feel like dozing off. Either while Mom is yelling, "Bri-Holli are ya'll looking at the scenery? Look! That is where Aunt Kandi, Aunt Tammi, Aunt GG, and I stayed when we were here! Oh look, it's Florabama! Is Holli even awake?" "No!" Brian usually replies. This way it gets me out of actually having to respond to her because I'm usually sleeping.

The worst part of the trip was yesterday when I had to wake up because we had to go eat. Usually I would be more than happy to go eat, even if it meant I have to wake up from a nice nap, but not in this case. Just like always, I was sleeping when they decided to wake me up and tell me we are going to go eat at this seafood place that "the Golden Girls" ate at last time they went to Orange Beach. So I get up, throw on my shoes, and climb down from my "Haven of Awesomeness" and drag Mom out the door. We walk all the way across the parking lot, through the strip center sidewalk, and down to the restaurant to see the "Sorry we are closed for relocation" sign on the door. Then we had to walk ALL the way back to the RV and go somewhere else. So I was awakened up from my nap to go to a place that wasn't even open! At that point, I couldn't go back to sleep because we were just going to stop somewhere else to eat in like 2 minutes, so I was bored just laying up in my cove doing nothing for a whole 2 to 3 minutes. It was horrible!

Cherri's Blog

The great thing about an RV vacation is that you have all the conveniences of home. One ot the bad things about an RV vacation is that you have all the conveniences of home. NOTHING has changed! You'd think going on vacation, that SOMETHING would change; but, nooooo! Brad is still eating "carp", Brian is still playing his Xbox, and Holli is still sleeping! I'm tired of hearing, "I sick" from Holli (she did start the trip out with a cold; but, thanks to ALL her sleep, she's great now!) trying to get out of doing anything; and now, Brad has even chimed in (of course, he at least had an excuse, but doing great now, too!). On a positive note, though, at least the RV is a much smaller area to try to keep clean...they can't mess it up too bad!

I've now introduced my "addiction" to Holli...seashelling! I was in heaven. Strolling Orange Beach I spent hours of peaceful bliss picking through small and broken shells looking for just that perfect Olive or Sand Dollar. Although rare to find, I did manage to score one of each that are in perfect condition.

I only stopped "shelling" long enough to meet a few people. Gram Gram Gloria is my NBF. She is from Michigan, rents a place right on the beach for three months each year, and is an expert on sea shells. She told us to go to Ft. Morgan and take the ferry to Dolphin Island; and, also, go see the Blue Angels Flight Museum and IMAX. She also told me the best months to search for shells!

Holli mentioned the closed restaurant we tried to go to. What she did not tell you was that by talking to stangers (like the kids are always teasing me about) I found out that the best seafood lunch in Orange Beach is at an out-of-the-way place called Desoto's. When we got there, I had Monica briefed on Brad's dietary restrictions and had the owner, Rosemary, over for a cooking consultation before he even got to the table. Rosemary and her husband have owned the place for nine years, but the place has been there since the early '70s. Monica had to leave work early because one of her children was sick at daycare. I told her I understood because my Grandmother had once forgotten to pick me up from kindergarten, and I thought I had been abandoned and I remember that to this day! Of course they all knew where we were from, where we had been, that the "Golden Girls" had been to Orange Beach before, that we are on Spring Break, will be here 'til Friday, have an RV, kids don't play the vacation game right, and in addition to gallbladder, Brad has a history of kidney stones.

Brad:
Well, what more can I say. The gang is all here and, as for the tone of the blog, I don't know where the kids got it from ;) TTFN from SOWSBYGIF!

Day 4 - Mother's Day (not Mothers' Day)

Holli Van Winkle finally awoke on Day 4; and, fully rested, has embraced her "inner child". What we did not expect was that her "inner child" would be her cousin Cory. Holli had a Cory-like retort for everything Cherri said - "that's because you're old", "Laaazeee, Mom, quit being lazy" usually said by Holli and Brian while they are horizontal and Cherri is DOING something. All of this with a smile in their voice and an equally loving response from Cherri, like, "I'm going to old you!"


Speaking of verbs, Cherri has mastered the art of turning any word into a verb in response to a child's inquiry. "I am going to money you!" or "I am going to sandwich you!". The kids have truly enjoyed this, have begun keeping a list, and using it anytime Cherri is on the phone. For those of you who talk with Cherri on the phone, you will be glad to know that you have her undivided attention. It has always amazed us that she cannot multi-task while on the phone, when she does it so well with other activities - that always seemed to be such a mom quality. So given her condition, it is no surprise that a large volume of outside stimuli, while on the phone, has an affect on her.

The kids were re-telling Mom stories, you know, to make her feel better about herself. They are quite observant. For instance, her eyes get bigger when she is talking to old people or people with language limitations. Or Holli's imitation of her when she talks or is on the phone "Ngah, ngah, ngah, I'm old".

Cherri's new favorite singer is the "vocal trance" artist Coushatta, known to the rest of us as Cascada (go to YouTube). Cherri doesn't really know the words to "Every Time We Touch" but she tries to sing them to every trance song Brian plays; or even that "walrus gumbo" song by the Beattles that for some reason Holli keeps singing over and over again in a child-like voice, "one and one and one is three, got to be good looking 'cause it's so hard to see".

We did make it to the beach early today. Since we were in the town Ft. Walton Beach, I assumed they would have beaches. Rather than driving back down to Destin, we found public access with great parking; and we had it all to ourselves. All day there with only one or two cars at any time. Maybe that's because everytime someone mentions "shower" Brian says "I don't follow that religion". The handicapped sign was interesting. The availability of "beach accessible wheelchairs" fascinated me. I had to go on line and find what they looked like. I want one! Holli and Cherri took a long walk on the beach. Holli decided to be a "rebel"; ignoring all the "stay off the dunes" signs, she risked arrest by the Sand Police and wrote in the dune.

We headed out for Orange Beach from there, just a 2 hour ride even by RV. Good thing we had the generator going, though. When it died on the way, I knew we had reached 1/4 tank of gas and promptly pulled over to refuel. I had to pull over and address this "crisis" immediately because the Xbox and Hogan's Heroes dvd's don't run on battery - Brian was soon talked down off the roof and order was restored. Holli was fast asleep.

Cherri is ready to buy a Tom-Tom and forget Google Maps. After the mis-location of the hospital last night, she was quite put out that the Walmart in Gulf Shores was not where the map indicated. The fact she cursed Motorola for making the "Q" we were using, instead of Google; or even better, whoever supplies them data points (probably the same people that supply Tom-Tom), means that the remedial mouse training Brian has been giving her still needs work.

I had to awaken the Princess du Mall from her "chamber" to feed her dinner. Holli and I were quickly asleep soon after eating. The hum of the generator lulled her to sleep, and the long night at the hospital made me decide that sleep was better than blogging.

Day 3 - The Slow Day!

Hospitals are friendly places. Did you know that you can park there all night without being hassled? It is a good thing too, because, Walmart's hospitality toward RVers is not universal. In their defense, once you get into a resort or destination area, they would be overcrowded with scum too cheap or too unplanned to have a paid place to park for the night.

It is a (relatively) short drive from Pensacola to Destin. We pulled into the state park in Destin and announced that we were just here for the day. Ms. Surley inquired about reservations and was quite put out that I might want to picnic without calling ahead. I had explained that we had a place for the night - I did not explain that our travel agent wears a blue smock with a smiley face on it. We did manage to run the gauntlet and break through their defenses by paying to use their dump station to empty our holding tanks.

Back on the beach front roads, headed east, we looked for points of public access where you could park an RV. A couple of u-turns and there it was, roadside Nirvana (mythology not music), gravel paved, parallel spot with a long empty approach just yards from the beach access sign. I parked the Sunseeker, hopped out, and headed for the beach with Brian in tow. Looking back I realized that we were alone. The girls were in the RV "getting ready". I should point out that this does not include putting on a bathing suit since the water is too cold to actually get in above your ankles. To try to use the "get ready" time usefully, Brian and I decided to overhaul the transmission and put in a nitrous oxide kit. Just as we finished, Cherri and Holli emerged looking the same as they did when we left Pensacola. Brian, Holli, and I crossed the street and headed down the boardwalk, when we looked back and saw Cherri taking pictures of ... whatever. In a 50-foot walk Cherri is 20 yards behind us and has taken 10 pictures (do the math).

Walking down the wonderful white sand beach of Destin, Brian, Holli, and I turn around and see Cherri on her cell phone while taking pictures. The good news is that Cherri learned that Baby Pookie has a real name now - Ellyana Hope Brown. You can see from this photographic evidence below that Cherri was a good distance behind us (and this, with a telephoto lens). Destin is the only place I have seen the Nike barnacle in its natural habitat. Named for the goddess who personified victory, the Nike barnacle is so called because, to survive, it must be victorious over the hoards of people who pluck them and put them on their feet.

After a long walk down the beach, it is a long hike back up the road to the RV. The kids were quite amused when their mother suggested we "jack" the golf cart at the Crab Trap Restaurant. On the way, Holli found her dream home for only $1,395,000 since it was not on the beach side of the road. What I noticed was that everything was for sale. I think the now common joke about 401k's becoming 201k's is having an affect on this largely retiree funded community. Stereotyping am I? We were the youngest people in the RV unfriendly Destin Walmart. Although Holli got tired of being mistaken for someone's granddaughter and having her cheeks pinched, I thought it wrong of her to put "That's How I Roll" bumper stickers on their HoverRounds.

We decided to hit the Wally World parking lot early tonight to maybe tailgate with the other RVers. After our daily supply trip through Walmart, we looked for the "correct" corner of the lot for "our" kind - there were none! Then we noticed the signs that said "No Overnight Parking". Thinking that, "Ok, this is Destin; I understand the problem that could create". So we headed back up the road to the town of Ft. Walton Beach only to find that they too were not the welcoming kind. We found a spot away from the signs, and the front of the store, and set up for the night since it was late and I was not feeling well - where had the last 5 hours gone? Well, there was that stop at Chick-fil-a; and, well, you know Cherri "Rachel Ray" Hollingsworth just had to interogate poor Amy: "If you only had one day in Destin, how would you spend it?" "Where is the best place to eat seafood off the beaten path?" After exchanging blood types and cross matching for organ donor compatibility, we were back on the road. Yes Cherri actually took a picture of a chain retaurant because they are soooo different looking than the one in Spring.

A shout out to Mom here. Still looking for the rest of the hospital story? - here it is.

Did I mention hospital and not feeling well? I was wondering what to blog about and decided to go to bed instead because it had been kink of a slow day. As soon as I laid down, the nagging little pain that had been in my stomach since lunchtime, became a "full-on" attack. Apparently, my gallbladder decided to use the ammo I had created inside it to catapult the stones at the tiny opening that connects this organ to the rest. I have known they were there for some time; but since they were not bothering me, I decided to put off removal until after busy season - oops!

This is how we found out that hospital parking lots are great places to park in the middle of the night. BTW, Google Maps has the location of the Ft. Walton Beach Medical Center several miles from its actual location and not even on the same street. Cherri at the wheel, Brian navigating, and Holli blissfully sleeping, we are doing donuts in parking lots, cutting through churches, and making three point turns on busy or narrow roads. We wind up getting directions from a beer-wielding cousin of Wade's at the Circle K. He knew right where it was and gave great directions - no doubt he and his buddies had been there several times immediately after saying, "Hey guys, watch this!"

12:40 am - The sign in the ER said "Sign In - If a triage nurse is not present, press the button below and hold your breath until one shows up. Either a nurse will show up shortly or you will pass out and the pain will not bother you anymore." After getting triaged, Martha said to get comfortable, it could be a while. We later learned from Jim (the 54 year-old RN who just bought a boat, loves to catch pompano, worked in Texas for a few years while he was running away from everything, moved back, raised a family, works nights because his two college-educated sons failed to launch, is looking forward to them becoming independent and wants to spend more time fishing with his wife) told us that they had actually seen 157 people with only one Doctor and five nurses. Can you tell that Cherri was with me? Actually, I was wondering how much this pleasant conversation delayed the morphine; but, I did not say anything. I have learned over the years that her friendliness often gets us better care at hospitals and deals at retailers and hotels.

Next stop was the x-ray room in the ER. One shot standing and one lying down. When I went to lie down on the machine, I noticed that there was a blue ball point pen taped to the control head of the x-ray machine with a tape lanyard about 6 inches long. Hmm, not long enough to be used practically as a pen. My question was soon answered as my x-ray tech grabbed the pen, held it like an ice pick and jammed it in the machine until the light came on. While centering the machine and lining up for the shot, the machine timed-out, and she had to stab it again. I was wondering what I was going to do if she lit up, but, all went well. She did seem to have a certain "glow" about her, though.

Dr. May wakes me up from my morphine-induced sleep and says, that if the pain is gone, I can go as well...never again to enjoy cheeseburgers, french fries, Mexican food, pizza, or any other spicy or fatty delight!

Ana was right, something happens every time I leave town. It just usually doesn't happen to me!

Day Two - Frank and the Princess (and Orange Soda too!)

In re-reading my posts, I have noticed a certain tone to them. Although I have been accused of being sarcastic from time to time, this constant cynicism must be coming from somewhere else; I believe that I am spontaneously "channeling" Frank (for the UHY crowd). So now, when I find myself in a quandary, I simply ask, "WWFD"?

Remember Day 1 at 3 pm? What I did not tell you was that as we were about to leave, Princess du Mall climbed up in the overhead bunk; and, by royal decree, claimed it as her realm. I said, "Good idea! Store your gear up there and let's get on the road. Your brother can have the couch; but you cannot ride up there, it is not safe!" As I pulled away from the house moments later, I again announced that it is really not a good idea to ride up there. After legs one and two of this trip, I also made the same, only more stern, announcement and it worked out great! When we got to Lafayette, she was sound asleep in her "special" place and is still in it now as we sit in the Walmart parking lot in Pensacola, Florida. Six-foot tall Brian, aka "Suburban Sprawl", also had a great night's sleep on the five-foot sofa (which folds out into a full-sized bed) but, do you think he would take the time/energy to pull it out? Of course NOT!

I know you are all anxious about how the generator is holding up, you know, since Wade bet his reputation on it and all. Well, I was the first one up on day two and had to fire up the generator to make coffee (side note from Cherri - because you know Brad can't LIVE without his coffee! It's the ONLY thing keeping him going!). "To prime or not to prime, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of lean carburetors or by opposing, flood them." So, I half-primed it; and to my joy, it started right up!

A couple of hours later, I am sitting at the table enjoying my coffee, cleaning up last night's blog, smelling the aroma of freshly baked cinnamon rolls that Cherri had baking in the oven; when, Onan breathed his last. I tried a CPR of sorts, "prime, two three, four - CLEAR! - START"; "prime, two, three, four - CLEAR! - START". After a few minutes of this (and a "consult" from my Son) Onan was declared dead. Brian wisely suggested we let it cool and try again - to no avail.

Then I had a thought, put two and two together, and came up with 3.75. You see, I noticed that we were at a quarter tank of gas when we pulled into Walmart last night, thought about buying gas, but we decided to wait. I thought maybe, just maybe, the system is set up to NOT let the generator run when the gas tank gets below 1/4 tank so you can drive to the next gas station. "Surely Wade would have told me about this feature!" So I did not have much hope when I pulled over to fill up the RV. After filling the tank and pulling away from the flammable area, I again tried, tried, tried and then BAM!, Onan was back to life. Neat feature - I'll have to tell Wade about it when we get back. Then again, visions of a folding machete and a smeared prison tat meant that that probably won't happen.

Visiting the French Quarter in an RV is a breeze. Don't let the narrow streets and "No Oversized Vehicles" signs on ALL the parking lots bother you. I have a reserved spot that only costs $20 per day, just two blocks from Cafe du Monde! It is great because the New Orleans Police Department comes by with a payment reminder in a self-addressed envelope, and it even has instructions for paying on the web - what a country!

Cafe du Monde was great, of course. Four orders of beignets and a couple of Cafe au Laits and we were ready to roam the streets. The kids loved the French Quarter. They said it was a lot like Old Town Spring except with AIDS and "Mom, hurry up! Do we have to stop in EVERY store?!" - odiferous was the word of the day. Left, here is a picture of the woman who has been photographed more than Marilyn Monroe and seems to instinctively know when to smile as a camera comes out. At right, here is the lady who was going around asking random strangers if they would like their picture taken with their camera and the reluctant couple who obliged her fantasy that everyone just loves to talk to those friendly strangers from Texas. In fact, the way Carl reacted, I am sure they were married, just maybe not to each other.

I will break here for a personal "shout out" to Vera. This one is for you. I'm being a "good" boy on vacation. Coffee is NO where to be found down here. Honest, there is not a Starbucks to be found!

The signs that New Orleans is still recovering from Katrina are everywhere. Blue roofs, abandoned buildings, blown down trees, and low supplies at KFC. Really, you can have anything on their menu as long as it does not involve a bread item. No "snackers", wraps, or sandwiches. "Then I'll have the snack box with hot wings" I said. "We don't have any wings either" Kashandra said. See, since Cherri is leading this expedition, we know everyone by name. By the time we got our food, we knew Kashandra's life history and she knew our's. She not only knew where we were from; but, that "I" had never taken Spring Break with the kids before, that the rest of Cherri's family goes to school in Clear Lake and Alvin, their Spring Break is next week, we don't know where we are going, and that "life is short and so is Cherri".

What is it about Orange Soda?! While standing in the express lane at our home back in Lafayette, I was there for a while because apparently "20 Items" means "or a multiple thereof" instead of the traditional "or less"; I noticed that 9 out of 10 people who grabbed a soda in the checkout line got Orange Soda rather than the choices more traditional at my local Walmart in Spring. Maybe it is because they are closer to Florida.

It's late now, and we just arrived in Pensacola, Florida because Cherri was NOT in the front seat telling Brad how to drive! Needless to say, he missed the turn off to Orange Beach, Alabama (he admitted to "daydreaming" - imagine that!) and we ended up at the impromptu "RV convention" at the local Wal-Mart in Pensacola. We pulled up along side four other RV's in the "back" lot where all the conventions are held. Cherri was jealous of the "homemade" RV she saw: ton and a half chasis with a bolted on camper and a white picket porch built on the back - it was a beauty!

We'd like to give another "shout out" to our newest great-niece, "Baby Pookie", who was born this day in Lexington, Kentucky, weighing in at 7 lbs. 3 oz., 19-1/2" long! Everyone is doing well, and Anneishka (who turns "4" on Thursday) is so excited about her new little sister! Will let you know, when the poor baby has an official name.

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Day One - The Circle of Threes

Isn't it wonderful how the world maintains balance. For instance, we have no schedule to maintain on this trip and it was perfect because the RV rental place has a policy I would not have been prepared for and a practice that ignores the policy.

You see the rental place opens at 9 a.m., so we foolishly thought we could leave at around 9 a.m. Oh No, while they open at 9 a.m. our pickup Appointment was set for 10 a.m. Upon arriving at 10 a.m. we learned that their earlier check out appointments were still in process and that we would have to wait about 1/2 hour for the technician to train us. But that was okay because that is how long it should take us to do our inspection and report any previous damage.

At 11 a.m. or so a nice fellow with a distinctly "prison" made "tat" on his neck showed up to give the training. All went well with Wade until we got to the generator. Wade swore it was working "just this morning". After a few trips from the generator - on the driver's side of the RV, to the battery compartment - on the other side, to the control panel - on the inside, Wade pulled out a massive pocket knife and began beating on the battery cutoff relay switch. This helped because the panel now had correct readings and the generator would turn over, but, would not fire. A few more tries with some help from the battery booster switch and the ol' Onan was humming.

Wade proceeded to give us a few warnings about using the microwave while the air conditioner was on and leaving the power exhaust vent on while flushing the toilet (think negative air pressure and storage tank).

Now that the generator was running smoothly Wade thought he would kill it (more than a trite phrase from someone with prison tats and a quick draw knife). "First hold this button down to prime the generator, then when the light turns red, push this button and hold till the microwave beeps and the clock says zero". At this point all I hear is the generator trying to turn over as before with cough and no fire.

Quick as a flash Wade has knife out and the cover off the generator. Crank, crank, battery booster, crank, crank, cough, shake, trip to the left, trip to the right, hold down the start key, fight, fight, fight! So, Wade gets the generator going again and bets his ENTIRE reputation on it not giving me any more trouble. "Just remember, don't prime it or it will flood and if it won't turn over, beat on the relay".

So we pull out of the rental place, waving to Wade in the rear view mirror, promptly at 12:15 p.m. Let's see, 12 minus 9 is 3 - right?! So since everyone had extra time to get ready to leave it was not unexpected that we left the house after 3 p.m. There is something poetic and harmonious about this rhythm of 3's. Maybe that will be our theme for the trip.

The first leg of the trip went very smoothly, I could not have asked for anything more. We made it all the way from Spring to the Taco Bell on FM 196o at Aldine-Westfield without a breakdown, traffic jam or stopping for gas.

The second leg of the trip (I know two in one day!) went just as smooth. We made it from Taco Bell all the way to Atascocita where we stopped in to see my old friend Marsha who has a tax practice right on FM 1960. It was great to see her. She hasn't seen Holli or Cherri in way to many years. And we all go to see Emma who we have not seen since she started school, now in the fifth grade. Maybe we will try to stop in again on our way back.

On the road again. Leg three is really getting traction. We made it all the way to the Walmart at Exit 103A in Lafayette, Louisiana. No sooner had we pulled up than the nice security guard drove up and asked us if were looking for a spot to spend the night. I replied "yes after we make a few purchases". He said that was nice quiet corner of the lot over "yonder" where 5 other RV's were already set up for the night. We had a "brief" 20 minute conversation with this stranger (who happened to also be from Spring, specifically Riley Fuzzel Road, moved around with the oil industry, lived in south Texas, where they used to not sell Blue Bell ice cream, and was transferred here until he was laid off, would like to move back to Spring but can't - I did not ask why).

I think he took the hint that the conversation was over when my window kept slowly inching upward as he spoke and I thanked him for his guidance for the 9th time (multiple of three!). He had not been gone long enough for his tail lights to dim when another happy face pulled up. Half leaning out of the cab of his pickup truck and smiling like a politician this wandering soul responded to my "HOWDY" with an even bigger "HOWDY-DO". Then he proceeded to tell me his tale of woe. You see he has been working in Florida and trying to get back home to Shreveport and well you see, he only has a quarter tank of gas and $1.14 to his name. I told him that this rig gets 8 miles to the gallon, has 75 gallon tank, costs me 25 cents a mile for anything over 100 miles per day, I have a brain tumor and four mouths to feed. So I am feeling pretty good as Cherri and I are walking into Walmart $1.14 richer when it hits me, maybe we could fund our entire vacation this way.

Spring Break 2009

This is the original email I sent to my co-workers to announce our plans for this year's Spring Break. After sending it I decided that I should blog our entire trip. Travel with us and enjoy our sweet memories as we create them.

All, My lovely wife Cherri has suddenly determined that it is of utmost importance to the unity of our family that we spend Spring Break together in an RV roaming around this great nation of ours. Given the advanced ages of our children it may be last time we are able to pull off this not quite Rockwell-esque moment before they are too old, too involved, or too cool to "vacay" with their parental units.

While I admit that I am looking forward to the great outdoors, cramped living quarters and cold showers, I apologize for the late notice and lack of planning for my absence. I believe that all of my engagements are adequately covered, but, please let me know if you can think of anything that is due from me next week.

I should be accessible by both cell phone and email. However, I should mention that our destination(s), much less our route, have not yet been determined. If I begin to hear the music from "Deliverance" I will know that I am out of cell phone range and will immediately attempt to u-turn my "big rig" on a tiny dirt road. Once I become hopelessly stuck and realize that I am indeed out of cell phone range I will have no choice but to ..., but I digress. Feel free to call or email me during the week of March 9th - please!